Sarah's Depression diary

I don't know how much more I can take. Between not being able to get to a doctor and other stress, it is getting the best of me. This week has been really hard on me. Monday my husband was picked up again for driving with suspended license. He has been gone since then. My older son is going to help me go get him. The money that we are going to have to put out to get him is going to hurt us. He probably won't know what will be the out come until January. What a way to start out the new year and my birthday. I may end up again on my own for either a short time or a very long time. I don't know how I will get through this with me being pregnant and alone with my kids. I have know one to help me, no job, no money. If it is a really long time, I might just be on my own forever. God why does these things keep happening to me. I am falling apart and worried about my baby and family. I am staying more sick than usual, and it is hard to eat a lot. I don't know what I am going to do. I am alone. God please be with me and my family. Please get us through this.

things are not going too well at the moment

we really don't need all this stress right now, but hang on in there hopefully things will change for the better

im here if you need me so don't feel your on your own

we are all here for you sarah you are not alone

Well we got my husband out on Friday, but we still owe $250 for the bond. We were so worried that his boss man wasn't going to take him back. He told me that he would, before I posted what bond I could. Sunday and yesterday he would not call us. We have no money now and still owe money. We don't know what is going to happen. I know that he is worried about things and if he will be here for the birth of our baby. We went to church on Sunday and afterwards we went to the front to have them pray for us. I pray that God will show us mercy and let things work out for us. I don't know if we will be able to give these kids a christmas, and that hurts alot. He told me that when he was gone he was ready to give up because he was afraid of not seeing his family again, but he thought of his son, the baby and me and the other kids and that kept him going. I really would not have been able to take a phone call telling me that he was gone forever.

I want to thank you guys for caring, please keep praying for us, that no matter what has happened, God will see us through this, happier and stronger as a family. I pray that his boss man will keep him working as long as possible, because if he is gone for, I pray only a little while if it comes down to it, that I will have a little bit to pay bills. I am praying with everything that is in me, that God will let him be here for the birth of our baby and there after. No matter what my husband and I have gone through, I don't want them to take him away for a long time. He tells me not to stress out because of this, because of the baby, but this has been really hard on me, on us. Because of no license and other things he was gone for a year and a half. He came home at the end of last year. His son has just started to really get to know him and now this. I told him no more, his son needs him to raise him, I am a mother, not a father. That was really hard on me. I had his mother here at that time to help, but now she moved and I am alone. I am just praying that things won't go against us that bad. I won't be able to make it with a baby and no one to help. Please, please keep praying for us.

sarah

things will be ok, just keep +tive, it will not do you right to stress yourself with being pregnant

i am here if you need me

lets keep our fingers crossed things start to look up for you real soon

i hope things start to look up for you and your family soon sarah